This article is part 2 of 2 on the rewards of saying, “no.” You can read the first part here.
As I mentioned in part 1 of “The Joy of Saying ‘No,'” I found joy and a sense of achievement in placing boundaries on my time and preserving my need to rest, sleep, and spend time with my family, even if it meant telling some special large order customers they would have to wait. Last year, I started putting some boundaries on myself, telling myself “no” when everything in me was hollering for “YES!!!”
It began at a local festival I had done faithfully from 2010 to 2014, despite seeing the booth fees increase steadily over that five-year period even as revenues dropped. After 2013’s festival, I crunched the numbers and realized (*gasp!*) I had ended up $150.00 in the hole (and we don’t have to travel more than 2 miles to it). Yikes! I still persevered into 2014 and participated in last year’s festival, again with a booth fee increase and diminished revenue. I decided not to do that event again. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. That was a really difficult decision, as a friend and private label customer is one of my fellow vendors, and I have many local customers who find me there. Deciding to quit had emotional ramifications for me.
The weekend following that event last year saw me at a steampunk convention for the second year. So. Much. Fun!!! I had my costume, I had a fabulous part-time partner to cover my booth, and I was hugging and greeting friends throughout my set-up time. There was so much to see and so many people to talk to, and it was much less tiring than it had been the previous year. Again, though, the participation fee had gone up, paired with travel expenses, and my revenues were down. In fact, it seemed attendance was down for both events. With a very heavy heart, I decided it was no longer financially feasible to participate in this event, either.
I’m a female with a female’s emotions; I feel sad, happy, victorious, frustrated, and angry. The hardest lesson for me in making these choices was, I couldn’t let my emotions run my business. There is room in my business for passion and excitement, but when the ledger books are showing more red than black, then there is no room at that point for emotion-based decisions.
As emotionally upsetting as the necessity of those decisions was, it did not take me long to move past the sadness and embrace the positives. The steampunk convention isn’t happening this year due to “lack of venue.” The booth fee for the other event went up yet again. In addition to that, I found out that attendance really was lower last year, per someone on the committee. Then the weather forecast proved to be the third affirmation that I’d made a smart choice; this Saturday is supposed to have a heat index over 100 deg. No way do I want to be out in that all day!
The rewards for me have been tremendous! This week I’ve supervised my daughter while she made and canned chocolate syrup, made a cover for my older daughter’s Nook, and finished their dad’s Father’s Day gifts. Whereas normally I’d be pulling everything together, doing last-minute wrapping and labeling, and trying to get my daughters ready for a couple of nights at their grandparents’ house, in addition to getting my oldest ready to go off to camp for a week, this week I’m calm, relaxed, and nearly giddy with how not-stressed I am. At random times, I’m dancing around and giggling – yes, GIGGLING!!! – because I’m not doing this festival. I’m not volunteering at our church’s booth at it (this year), I’m not going as a customer, nothing.
Friday we will do Father’s Day, since the oldest leaves at 5 Sunday morning. Saturday morning we will sleep in, have a special breakfast, and stay in our pajamas until close to noon. Sunday morning, instead of waking up late, still dehydrated and suffering the remaining vestiges of heat exhaustion, we’re going to wake up for church and then enjoy lunch with my parents.
The psychological effects of telling myself “no” have been overwhelmingly positive. Sure, there was a little discomfort at first, but like with so many positive changes, those negatives have quickly disappeared in light of the feelings of joy, calm, and excitement I am experiencing this week. If you’re a business owner, a mom, a teacher, a whatever, I encourage you to embrace the word “no” every now and then. You’ll be amazed at how liberating it is.
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