When I was in divinity school, I studied how to place personal boundaries on my time, my commitments, and my space. I also learned how to set boundaries on the amount of crap I’d put up with. Manipulation? Nope, I’m choosing not to accept that. Heartfelt pleadings for me to do something for you when my schedule is already overloaded? Nuh uh. Not my problem. Sure, I pissed some people off, but they got used to my “no” and soon grew to recognize that I could still be in relationship with them without the psychological game playing. (I mean, seriously, who has time for that when you’re in graduate school, working, and raising a family?)
While it is no longer hard at all for me to tell people “no,” I have had a really hard time enforcing my boundaries when it comes to my business. I’ll work long hours on production or media, or I’ll burn the midnight oil to get a zero-hour order processed for a customer and out the next day. The transformation seemed to come all at once. A few days before Christmas, a private label customer sent an order to me. I informed her that I was closed for the holidays and gave her a specific date when I would begin to process her order. Ahhh… Telling myself that it was OK not to work proved to be incredibly liberating to me.
More recently, another private label customer and I were discussing her most recent order, which was all ready to go in the mail. My agenda for the following day included taking my car to be serviced before heading to the beach with my girls. As she asked for add-ons to her order – none of which I had expected or had ready – I said, “It’s almost 11:00. I’m not going to do that tonight.” She’d temporarily forgotten one part that would have had me up for a while later and agreed to add those into her next order. Really, truly, I have amazing, understanding customers!!!
In both of these cases, I’d had to say “no” in order to preserve my time, my body’s needs, and my sanity. No longer do I have to give up family time or sleep in order to meet my customers’ needs. This wisdom comes with experience and being in business for a long time. It is wisdom that has seen late nights, high stress, and printer malfunctions (which only happen in crunch times). It’s wisdom that has cried from being overwhelmed with trying to balance soapmaking and present wrapping. While it has been earned the hard way, the reward is giving myself permission to stop, rest, and relax.
If you are a business owner of any sort, to what have you had to say, “no”?
Click here for “The Joy of Saying No, part 2.”
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