It’s a turkey salad sandwich, which isn’t unusual for the weekend after Thanksgiving. It’s pretty unassuming, actually – homemade turkey salad on whole wheat. Peter whipped this up, and when he asked about pickles, I said, “Just dice up some bread & butter pickles; that’s what Grandma did when she’d make it.” I remember standing beside her in her kitchen, cutting board resting on her blue-and-white tile counter, watching her dicing those pickles by hand, ones she’d put up herself.
Peter brought the bowl into me and gave me a taste. I held the bite of turkey salad in my mouth, parsing out the different flavors – savory turkey, the bite of mustard, the sweet-sour pickles. In a moment I was back in my grandma’s kitchen. She was alive and well and making her turkey salad with leftover turkey and home-canned pickles. Tears welled up in my eyes, one escaping down my cheek. I smiled and said, “It’s perfect” as I wiped the tears away.
The sandwich was perfect, the most fabulous turkey sandwich I’ve had in over 30 years.
Turkey Salad Sandwich that made me cry
To most people, it’s just a mixture of turkey, pickles, mayo, and mustard, something anyone could throw together. There’s one ingredient that’s absolutely essential to the perfect turkey salad sandwich, and that is love.
I was re-reading an AWESOME book (the third in the trilogy Paradise Falls; Christal, Falling, and Forever) the other day when I thought of one of the speeches one of the main characters makes. Her name’s Christal, and she’s beautiful just the way she is – no make-up, simply nothing. In looking for her dude that left her (they moved; it was her mother’s decision) at what she hopes is his high school, she comes across cheerleaders in “face paint” picking on a younger girl. What she says is powerful for me, and inspired this blog.
“You think you are more beautiful than others, but you are not. You judge others by a standard of beauty that you do not have. You use your face paint to hide your flaws and appear beautiful to the world but I can see that you have many blemishes and imperfections. You need to be made beautiful and healthy from the within, and only then can you be beautiful on the outside.”
Love your unique self!
So thinking of that, we ought not to worry about outward beauty, but the inward beauty. As I was thinking about this, Colbie Caillat‘s “Try” came on. Then I contemplated, You know what? It’s not about what other people think of you, it’s what you think of you. So girls, ditch the make-up and the things that make you skinny. Quit that diet. Your boy’s going to find you, and he’ll like you for who you are. And boys, don’t be picky about having abs or not. Not all girls care. And you don’t have to work out to be good-looking. Nowadays, smart girls want smarts, not looks. Can they cook, what sort of work can they do, can they clean, are they fun, trustworthy, caring, loving, and don’t put others down, are the sort of questions that most wonder. Looks are just additives to the package. You could be the tee-total ugliest guy in the world, and be smart, can clean, cook, and be loving and trustworthy. Stop turning yourselves into something you aren’t. Make-up’s turning you prettier on the outward appearance. Diets are making you skinnier. Work outs are building muscle. But ditch those. We tend to worry so much about our outer appearances that we don’t worry about our inner. You could be really pretty with make-up and other stuff, and not be smart. Or you could be “blemished covered,” and be as smart as all the world put together.
Be natural. Do what you’re good at. I’m good in math. I want to be a math professor. Though I know for a fact that if I stepped in to do tennis, I’d fail. I might get there, but it wouldn’t come naturally, unlike math. If you’re passionate about your strengths, then you can be radiant inside. I must admit, I’m not as passionate about math as I’d like be. But I can do it. You have to want it in your gut. Stop trying to be a ballerina when your strength is engineering. Girls can be engineers too. “I can go somewhere, I can go the distance. I’ll be there someday, to find where I belong.” This is from Hercules, “Go the Distance.” You’re good in your own way. Listen to your heart. For you people who feel like misfits, if you work up the things you’re good at, even as hard as it is, and you don’t listen to negativity, then you can be better than the people who bring you down. They focus so much about outward beauty that they don’t build up the inner. Think of every failure as one way that it won’t work, and start figuring out another way to do it. You can do it!
Christal said, “Look at you, you fight and you’re mean to each other and you put each other down and call people losers, don’t you realize that this life is hard for everyone? You need to take care of each other in this world, other wise you’re all losers. It is only through helping each other that you can make this life better for everyone, including yourself. You need to look after each other and see that you’re all in this together, everyone of you! Don’t look down on other people or compare each other, you are all human beings experiencing this life together. Care for the ones who have it the hardest, and be kind to those who are picked on the most.”
The reply she got was: “She’s right. Life is hard and we make it worse for each other, but that’s the way it is.”
She replied, “It doesn’t have to be that way. You need to stop being afraid of each other and start caring about the people around you.”
Be kind to people, lend support, or simply (or not that simply) hugging your enemy, or liking that person, are ways that you can make life easier. Giving a stranger a smile is one way you can boost that person’s spirit. Stop being mean to someone littler than you and you’ll be building up inner beauty. The primary way to build yourself up is to raise someone else up. I know this probably sounds weird, but if you elevate people up, then people see you as kind and uplifting, and will raise you up. We are all who we are, and we have NO NEED (I repeat, NO NEED) to hide our blemishes. We are all beautiful.
Optimist or pessimist? Or just a completely pragmatic realist? I’m determined to go into the coming year letting my Tigger-like optimism merge with my pragmatic strategic thinking to push my business further. No more “what ifs” or “if onlys.”
You just know it would work out this way. Three weeks of fall break, three weeks of fun, canning, movie watching, and not a peep out of my large order customers. We’re talking crickets, folks. Crick-ets! Days before it ended, orders started rolling in right and left. What??? Now?! And it’s not just that orders started rolling in, but they came in with announcements of preorders. Three weeks of “Oh my gosh, I’m so bored!” now has given way to some serious hustle, right as we’re resuming our second term of school.
This past weekend was especially busy as I worked to fulfill last week’s orders. The biggest thing is, though, I wanted to clean off the dinette table. Two batches of soap, lotion bars, and lip balms, and there wasn’t room for a dirty thought on that table, let alone room for a person or four to sit and dine. In the midst of all this, I really want to put forward with the great cleaning-before-decorating thrust, as well as begin our holiday cooking. My girls like helping me cook, but the younger one, especially, just wants to sit down with me and watch a movie, read, or snuggle. It’s so hard finding the time to do everything while still attending to the family as they need, but over the years, I’ve developed my own tricks for making this work for us.
Lists. Lists help me visualize what tasks I need to accomplish in what order. I’m a bit obsessive in my list making, thinking always in a linear fashion: A then B then C then D… And D can’t happen until C happens. Lists are a great way for anybody to square up their work priorities, but it seals the deal when I’m trying to balance work and family life.
Working ahead. When it’s at all possible, I take an hour or two at a time to knock out something ahead of time. Maybe it’s a batch of soap that’s that customer’s standard order. Or perhaps it’s 100 tubes of lip balm for this customer. Those tasks don’t take a huge amount of time, but doing them sooner rather than later can free up a huge amount of pressure and stress later.
Prioritizing my day. When it comes to my day, what’s most important to me? Usually it’s breakfast, shower, exercise, and the girls’ education. Then what comes next? Production, newsletters, blog posts, marketing, website work. Somewhere in the midst of this comes a huge pair of brown eyes and a sweet voice saying, “Mom, can we _____?” No, not right now… Wait. What. Is. Important. To. Me? Is it crucially, vitally necessary that I change my slider on my website right now, or can it wait til tonight after the girls are in bed? The point at which I start making my business more important than my family is the point where I need to give up the business. The business will be around a while, but my daughters won’t be little girls forever.
Taking time away from the business. This was probably the hardest decision for me to make. Once upon a time, I was all about doing everything possible for my business and my customers, regardless of the sacrifices I had to make. I started last Christmas when I shut down my business for two weeks. I still received large orders from customers, but all that was required of me at those times was a quick email assuring them I’ll process their orders when we reopen. Once I made this decision, I realized it was the best one I could have made for my stress level and my family.
No. Such a small word with such great power! Actually, I say “no” by saying “yes.” To the last-minute request to add soaps to an order… “Sure, and I will add two days to your order processing time.” “I’ll happily take care of that after my vacation.” “I’ll process your order when we reopen early in January.” These boundaries are my way of saying, “No, I won’t let you make further demands on my time.” Work Me ends here, and Family Me begins here, and Family Me wants to savor this time.
Family Me is now in high demand, so Work Me has to clock out for a while.
It’s not that cold here, thank goodness. In fact, it’s still warm enough to enjoy fresh tomatoes and fresh basil, sun-warmed out of the garden. After purchasing 30 pounds of tomatoes last weekend and putting most of them up hot-packed, I still had a dutch oven full of peeled, quartered tomatoes. What was going to be more hot-packed tomatoes ended up turning into the most fabulous tomato soup I’ve ever had. After tormenting my Facebook friends with pictures of our dinner Saturday night, I thought it’d be only kind to share my recipes with them and with you.
In 3 qt. saucepan, heat butter over medium-high heat. Add onion and carrots, cooking 3-4 minutes or until soft. Add flour; cook and stir until moistened. Gradually add half-and-half, cooking and stirring about 2 minutes until smooth.
Stir in remaining ingredients. Cover; cook for 15 minutes just until coming to a boil, stirring frequently.
If desired, top with additional fresh basil leaves
Serves 4.
Can use 2% milk. When I made this, I made my own tomato sauce from cooked down tomatoes, adding 1 tsp. salt to that. I also used fresh tomatoes instead of canned. I added ½ tsp. salt and 1 T. of Italian seasoning to the soup. It was a tad too salty, though, so I recommend adding only 1/2 teaspoon of salt to the homemade sauce. I found a pouch of this Italian seasoning blend in the pantry that I’m going to use next time.
Homemade tomato basil bisque
I made that bisque to accompany these Chicken and Cheese Stuffed Shells. These feature my homemade pesto, made from basil I harvested from our garden. I still have at least 6 thriving basil plants and 6 plastic pint containers of pesto in the freezer. It’s going to taste like summer all winter!
Chicken & Cheese-Stuffed Shells with Pesto
Ingredients
24 ounces chicken, cooked and diced
1 cup Italian-blend cheese, divided
16 ounces pesto
½ box jumbo pasta shells
Directions
Cook shells according to package directions; drain.
While the pasta is cooking, combine 1/3 cup cheese, all the chicken, and ¼ cup pesto in a bowl.
Fill cooked shells with chicken mixture and place in a 9”x9” or 11”x7” pan. Top with remaining cheese.
Bake for 5 minutes at 350o, or just until cheese is melted. After removing pan from oven, cover shells with pesto. Let sit for 5 minutes to warm the pesto.
Serves 4.
Chicken & Cheese-Stuffed Shells with Pesto
When we’re not making soap, we really love to experiment in the kitchen, trying out delicious, easy, inexpensive dishes that are well-suited to our busy life. I’m hoping to make up some of that bisque (minus the milk) to can for the winter.
One woman, many hats. CEO. Teacher. Home manager. Wife. Minister. That’s a lot for one person, and the potential for me to get super stressed out is high. Obviously, stress is neither good for myself or for the girls, so I have to find ways to reduce stress in ways that don’t involve eating copious amounts of chocolate. At the same time, I want to do things that are good for my brain, good for my body, and somewhat productive. But not soap. Ninety-eight percent of the time, making soap is for business, though I do enjoy playing with it occasionally. I choose activities that can stand separate from soap.
For my body, I’ve been doing some resistance exercises daily, and in the past week or so, the girls have been joining me, so we can count that as part of school as we learn about how our muscles work and how these exercises help us. I started out with planking, wanting to strengthen my arms and tone my core. Then I decided to add push-ups to the routine so I can get rid of annoying upper arm dimples and tone the muscles there. Next, I got this wild hair about doing crunches. Like that’s not enough, a friend posted on Instagram a brief video of her doing roll ups. If crunches are like a street gang’s tag artist, roll ups are Al Capone. Yep, that much more evil. Supposedly, each roll up is comparable to four crunches. This is what they look like.
I started with where I was then, even though my counts were pitifully low. However, I’ve steadily increased my counts, my seconds planking, and my strength. It feels awesome! My first goal? Get these arms toned to look great with my red sleeveless dress before attending a wedding next weekend and the abs smoother so I won’t have to wear a body shaper under it. My second and long-range goal is overall fitness and tone.
For my brain and body, I’ve been spending time knitting. Studies have shown that knitting is good for the brain, as well as stress levels which positively impacts the heart as well. I’ll knit about anything, and I’m constantly pushing myself to learning new patterns and techniques. Last week I finished a long-term project – my first lace shawl.
Lace scarf made of a black wool-blend yarn spangled with multicolored sequinsA close-up of the lace, both body and edge
Pair the relaxation of knitting with the absolute peace that comes from having a cat curled up next to you asleep, and that’s the way I end many of my days. I’m so chill by that point that I can barely make it upstairs to bed. This leads to a sound night’s sleep and a refreshed awakening, which is a great way to combat stress!
You have a spectacular event. It’s well-planned, scheduled at just the right time of year, and you are expecting some crazy-good crowds, You have tripped over my website or heard of me through the show grapevine, and you send me an application in the mail. What will make me say, “Oh my gosh, I will simply perish if I can’t vend this event” and part with a chunk of my hard-earned money? Well, barring a scheduling conflict, here are some things I look for before I sign my name on the line and mail in my booth fee.
One, how long has this event been going on? I’m more likely to toss my hat in the ring for an established event that already has a following. I might consider a first-time event.
Two, What sort of advertising are you doing? If you’re so committed to your event to invest in billboards, TV ads, and radio spots, then I know this is a huge big deal to you. Your striving for success tells me I have a chance to be successful, too.
Three, What other vendors do you have? If you’re an artisan-only show, then I expect vendors to be well-juried to weed out multi-level marketing companies. I promise you, those sellers/representatives are not artisans selling artisan products. If you’re allowing commercial vendors, then what’s your ratio? As an artisan, I personally have no desire to compete against a commercial vendor selling inferior soaps made in some overseas sweatshop in upscale packaging for $3.00 a bar.
Along with that, how many other artisan soap vendors will be joining me? Some competition is great, and I enjoy meeting other soapers. Plus, we might sell different products that appeal to different customer bases, which is cool. However, four soapmakers out of around a hundred vendors, all selling about the same type of product, is a bit much, don’t you think? Yes, that has happened.
Four, what sort of crowds are you expecting? You could be planning a small, cozy event with maybe 200 attendees who will spend lots, or a humongous event with a projected 40,000 attendees who may or may not spend much at all. I have a good reason for asking. My first show was a 4-day event, 44 hours across those 4 days. The event coordinator said that on one day, there could be 20,000 coming through in a few hours’ time period. The “surge” I was expecting was a mere trickle. A veteran vendor said at the end of the night, “I estimate we had 10,000 all day.”
Five, How can I get more information about your event? I would look for things like a Facebook page, reviews of past events by other vendors who’ve done it, or a website. A current Twitter or Instagram feed shows me you tend to be active about keeping your followers up-to-date and are likely to post right before and during the event to draw interest and generate excitement.
Six, Is your booth fee realistic for the duration of the event? Two separate events, same month. One is essentially a one-day event; the other, 3-day weekend. The booth fee for the weekend is just $20 more than the booth fee for the one-day event. Considering other expenses, it’s important for me to determine if your event is cost-effective for my business. Some argue, “But it’s contact. It’s exposure.” Sure it is, but if nothing comes of that exposure, then I’ve wasted a good deal of time and money. I’d rather invest that same amount of time in building and strengthening relationships with my customers.
I love events, speaking to customers face-to-face, seeing their expressions when they smell particular soaps (a little Perfect Man, anyone?), and teaching them about the amazing benefits of artisan soaps. As my business has grown and I’ve matured as its owner, I have learned to be more picky about the events I do. No more selling myself short or cheap chasing after the almighty dollar.
What things do you look for in events you would do?
Although I do not participate in many shows and events anymore, I still receive letters and applications to my post office box from event coordinators inviting me to participate in their particular events. Occasionally, these come by email, but mostly, it’s snail mail. Perhaps it is an event in which I participated in the past, or maybe it’s an event in a rural county in which I participated in another event. (Sometimes the names are shared, which is fine.) All of these events have some sort of credibility – long standing, well-visited Facebook page, a good reputation, whatever.
It is really rare that I get invited to do an event from out of the blue, and especially an event to which I have no connection whatsoever. On Friday, it happened. It appeared as a tri-folded piece of printer paper taped shut that showed up at my home. Usually, the only business-related stuff that comes to my home are shipments and bank statements (before I went paperless); correspondence goes to my PO box, as that’s the address on my business cards, checks, website and all social media avenues.
The outside of the most unprofessional business mail I’ve ever received.
Wow. Can you believe that? No stamp, no envelope, not even a return address. If they can’t even take care to place the piece of paper in an envelope or slap a stamp on that bugger, then what kind of care do they give to vendors, advertising, and the plethora of other details in being a part of an event?
And… Here’s the inside. It’s rather confusing.
Out of curiosity, I open this letter up and find this. Crossed-out date, no names, no websites, no email addresses, not even a Facebook page. It’s colorful, but sorely lacking in helpful information I would want to have before even bothering with a phone call, let alone committing to participate (on one week’s notice, at that). There is a phone number way down at the bottom of the page which I dialed with the intention of explaining how unprofessional I found their missive. Three times – THREE!!! – the call was cancelled. Finally I gave up and tossed the letter. Later I did a Google search on the sender as it was disclosed on the flyer, and the closest I got was a company down in Georgia that does custom car decals. That’s a far cry from a vendor coordinator offering me space at a huge annual seafood event.
Coming up soon… Ways to entice me to spend my hard-earned money on booth fees at your event.
What’s the worst solicitation you’ve ever seen to participate in a selling event?
I thought that I would change up my blog. I was thinking of one of my friends at the time I was writing this and decided that I would act as if I was talking to her and came up with questions she might ask. Hope this answers some of your questions!
Friend: What does the soap look like?
Me: The soap is pink with a fun amount of sparkles and a mango sorbet fragrance. With it being my first soap I would add a hint of blue to the pink color in the future. Mom says that I should start with one color, but I added sparkles to get close to the desired effect.
Friend: What good qualities does your soap have that will make people want it?
Me: It will be a small bar which will be easy for kids (and adults) to hold. Its fun fragrance will (ahem, should) make kids look forward to showering without bubblegum (take it from a young spurt, bubblegum can smell icky or get tiring). The soap has sparkles which gleam in the light some. It is very moisturizing, lather is a definite, and it is hard. I was rinsing off my cutting board after cutting it and I had a great lather. I love the soap (I kept a bar for myself).
Friend: If you were to sell it, what would you call it?
Me: Pink Paradise* or Pink Paradise Falls**. I’m leaning towards PPF, though if I do PP then I can do a series with Blue Paradise, Green, Orange, Purple, etc. I think that I’ll make another PP next year for sale, then every other month another color. I will be doing another soap (for sale) this year with the same recipe, and it will be Christmas-y. That will be sold online and at the Triangle area EPA show in November. I also do a show here called the Pender County Spring Fest.
Friend: How did you think the soap would turn out compared to how it turned out?
Me: I thought it would turn out sharper, more vivid, pinker. The top looks pretty and if the whole soap were that color, then the soap would look beautiful. The top is a powdery pink that, in my opinion, looks like pixie dust. The bottom is a sort of magenta, but not that dark, mixed with sparkles that add a welcoming touch. I really thought that the sparkles would come out more, that it would be darker or lighter.
Friend: What were some of your feelings as you made this soap?
Me, mixing up the lye.
Me: I was feeling exhilarated, happy, worried, slightly panicked, joyful, and free. I can make whatever I want (within reason) on any soap, swirl, etc. I was also very happy that Mom said I could. Truth be told, I don’t like Melt & Pour as much. They take up time freezing them and you have to monitor it. You can make a CP and leave it alone.
Me stirring the lye mixture into the warm oils. Making magic happen!
Friend: Give us some brief how-to’s.
Me: First, gather your supplies. Since I’m doing small batches then everything can be done in a 4 Cup measuring cup. Bigger batches are done in buckets.
4 cup measuring cup (4 cupper) Small container (yogurt container sort)
Spatula Wooden spoon
Big container (such as the containers you get when you order a quart of Chinese soup)
Oils, Lye, etc.
Stick blender
Goggles, Gloves, etc.
Soap rag (old baby diapers, washcloths)
Not all of your oils are going to be liquid. Put on your goggles, gloves, etc. and get the smaller container. Measure out your lye. In the big container, measure out your water (or ice). With the wooden spoon stir lye and water together but be sure to hold your breath; otherwise the fumes can hurt your throat. Once dissolved, set aside. You can take the protective gear off. Now measure out your solid oils. Mine were coconut, palm, and cocoa butter. Melt them in the microwave until liquid. Now you add your liquid oils. Mine were olive and avocado. Mix all your oils together and set them aside. Take another small container and scoop some of the oil mixture into it. Add your color to it and stir until smooth. Set your color aside. Measure out your fragrance and set aside.
Put your protective gear back on. Dump lye mixture into the oils. Take the stick blender and bring the mixture to a trace. It will be mixed together but thick. If you’re making tomato soup and it’s just out of the can, that’s about how thick it should be. Add the fragrance. Now you have one of two options. The soap will be a creamy white. You can add the color mixture now and stir the fragrance and color in, OR, you can stir in fragrance then add color. If you do option #2 then you have the option of not stirring the color in all the way and getting a swirl. Either way, when you get done, put it in a silicone mould, scrape it out (this is where the spatula comes in), and cover it with a box lined with cling wrap. Insulate your soap by covering it with towels and let rest for at least 24 hours before unmoulding. Take the soap rag and wipe your equipment before rinsing under warm water. “Make” it in a soap program and it should tell you how many days it has to cure (you can use it after it cures, usually about a month).
As most of you know, not only am I an entrepreneur and CEO of a growing bath + body business, but I’m also a mom and a home educator. My days are often busy, but I don’t declare that to make myself look superior; it just is what it is, and most days, what may look like busy work to some people is productive hobby time for me. With all these responsibilities and duties, there must be time to completely unplug, relax, and unwind away from it all. A little over a week ago, Mary, Vice President of Product Development and COO of Girly Arts Made by ME, and I struck off to the beach for the weekend.
This was exactly what we needed. You may have caught my write-up last week about the impressive guest care skills of Garison at The Winds Resort at Ocean Isle Beach. That whole weekend was exactly what these Corporate Divas needed. Just picture white powder beaches with warm water, lush tropical landscaping, and restful moments reading in a hammock under waving palm trees. Yeah, it was that good. There were cold beverages, good eats, and restful nights’ sleep accented by a friendly, accommodating staff.
That picture-perfect postcard that mocks you with, “It’s beautiful. Wish you were here.”A peek at some of that luscious tropical landscaping The Winds is known for.
We enjoyed our time immensely and returned home feeling loose and mellow. I truly haven’t experienced that much calm time in forever, and it was amazing!
It’s important, now that we’re home, to maintain that peaceful feeling, to take moments to do things that help promote a calm spirit. Knitting is my mini-vacation of choice these days. Studies have actually shown that knitting helps lower blood pressure. I find having a cat lying beside me also helps me feel incredibly relaxed. Between the two of these things, most nights it’s a serious struggle getting upstairs to bed, because I’m half asleep with my knitting needles in my hand. My current project is a lace shawl. This is it in process:
Sneak peek of the black and sequin lace shawl I’m knitting to go with a red dress. And jeans. And…
This is our secret for chilling out and relaxing, and in the process, we returned home with grand ideas and fresh energy for taking care of orders going into the busy holiday season. How do you recharge your battery?
