It’s a brilliant reality for both business and life: You’re not going to be all things to all people. I’m not going to be all things to all people. We can read that in two ways: One is the simple reality that it’s not possible to be all things to all people, and a second is that I refuse to try to be.
I would like to get into a local shop, one in particular. As I met with the store owner, some of her preferences emerged. One, because this friend of hers makes soap without palm oil, then that’s apparently best. (I’ll dig more into the palm oil issue in another blog post.) Using lard or tallow was out, because some of her customers are vegans. Alright… Not my thing, but I can respect folks for whom it is. In a follow-up email, she didn’t care for the exfoliant in one of the free, full-size samples I’d sent her. So here it is – three strikes against my soaps.
I addressed the palm oil issue with her and how I handle that myself. I began to think of ways to get around the palm oil while keeping it vegan (shortening works with the same properties) and even went so far as to reformulate the soap recipe in order to avoid the palm and owing to the fact that my stock is hydrogenated soybean oil-free at the moment. I graciously suggested a way to use the scrubby remnants of the soap, based on a question I fielded at Spring Fest.
Then it hit me. Where does it stop? So I reformulate this one soap, changing up the oils and leaving out the exfoliant. But then I’d have to change all my wholesale-offered soaps when I have dozens of them ready to go to appreciative customers now. For fun, I did make the reformulated soap; check out the video of my swirling work!
As I say here, I will not be all things to all people, and I declared that on Friday. My older daughter in all her teen wisdom said, “I thought it’d be a bad idea for you to do that.” And so it goes. I went down that road before, and I ended up stressed out, disheartened, and frustrated. Lesson learned! Here are my tips for avoiding the trap of trying to be all things to all people:
- Declare now that you’re happy with YOU, however this manifests itself. Is it in who you are, what you have, where you live, what you make? Whatever it is, find a way to be happy with it.
- Internalize that happiness to find peace with yourself. It’s one thing to declare something is true, but it’s another thing to feel it. Geraldine in The Very Fairy Princess declares, “I know I’m a fairy princess, because I feel it inside.” Maybe you’re not feeling fairy princess-y, but feel who you are deep down.
- Be prepared to let opportunities go in exchange for your integrity. I’m not vegan. I don’t co-opt to the “organic” label. I use both essential oils and fragrance oils. If I co-opt my integrity to any of these trends or preferences just in order to attract customers, then I will no longer be selling me. I would be inauthentic in my business, which in itself would suck my soul dry.
- Always be honest about your you-ness. Yes, I’m willing to pass up opportunities in order to hold on to my integrity, but I also refuse to sink to dishonesty in order to grow my business. We prefer to run a fully transparent business, holding secret only those things which are proprietary, like our fragrance blends. I can say with pride, “This is who I am, and these are my products. Let’s find the most perfect fit for you.”
Embrace you. I bet you are pretty wonderful, though not everyone will appreciate your unique wonderfulness. Be you, anyway.